Life in general

Restaurantspeak

November 7, 2007

I’m not sure you’d call it a hobby, but one of the things I really enjoy is eating at good restaurants.  However, sometimes the places we go to bring to mind Public Enemy’s advice (i.e., “Don’t believe the hype!”), and other times we really do have great meal.  But as any restaurant patron knows it’s the service one gets at a place that can really make or break the experience. 

Part of that experience comes from the way the wait staff speaks to you.  If they are too stuffy, it can be off-putting because who wants to sit down at a place where you feel like an idiot because you don’t know what some of the menu items are, or you didn’t know that Zagat was pronounced ” zuh-GAT.”  I have to say that for the most part, the places we go to are pretty good in terms of food and service   — and I’m not talking about grabbing a quick bite at Baja Fresh.

After reading the NY Times today, I’m somewhat glad I don’t have to deal with some of the odd phrases of “restaurantspeak.”  Case in point:

“Are you done enjoying that?” (Yes, there is no joy left in life now that my food is gone.)

“Would you enjoy some coffee with dessert?” (Maybe.  But what if you serve swill? Do you think I would still enjoy my dessert drinking hot brown water with Splenda and milk?)

“How are we enjoying things so far?” (“We” hate you for asking!)

“Do we have any food allergies at the table?” (Hmm…Well, if you look closely, you’ll see that your question is giving me a rash.)

“Pardon my reach” (And pardon my French…)

“Excellent choice!” (What if I chose the pot roast?  Would you say “Wow! That really sucks.”)

“Perfect!” (Am I communing with Plantonic Forms here?)

But there is one phrase the just bugs the crap out of me at restaurants.  Ready? Here ’tis:  “Still working on that?” Why is eating food “work?”

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  1. J

    November 7, 2007 at 11:23 am

    Those are all very lame, I agree! Sadly, most of the family friendly restaurants we go to speak this way.

  2. Cherry

    November 7, 2007 at 11:26 am

    At first I liked the idea of them asking if there are any food allergies, but then I thought…. if there were, we’d tell you! As if you asking would suddenly remind us that OH YEA! my son will die within 5 minutes if he eats ____ but thank you because I had forgotten!

    I totally agree with you with the “Still working on that?”, although I don’t know if just taking the plate is much better. Eric practically likes to lick the plate clean but we also like to chat while we eat, so we are also having to halt them from taking his plate away.

  3. Beenzzz

    November 7, 2007 at 12:35 pm

    Some of those questions are from hell! They always have to wait until you are in a juicy conversation or knawing on a giant bite of food before they ask you how it is. AARGH!

  4. ML

    November 7, 2007 at 1:28 pm

    The “Excellent Choice” always gets me. It’s almost as if what the other people ordered is crap.

    Last time we went to dinner I ordered my food first, then Gus ordered. She said “ok” to me and “excellent choice” to him. I gave her a look from hell and she said “oh your choice is good too!”

    I could see her tip reducing at a rapid rate!

  5. Maya's Granny

    November 10, 2007 at 11:52 pm

    Personally, I like it when I get to the Sandpiper and Mark says, “We have chicken fried steak today” which is my favorite and which he knows is my favorite. I also like that he brings me a shaker of cinnamon for my toast.

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