Thirty Years of Us

Today, Julie and I celebrate 30 years as a married couple. 7/3/1993 was the day we tied the knot at my folk’s home in Antioch, CA — literally. In a Hindu ceremony (which we had), there comes a point in the ceremony when the bride and groom tie a piece of cloth together symbolizing their union. So, yes, we tied the knot!

What a day it was. We had family from both sides come in from near and far. Like many weddings, we had last-minute freakouts. Of course, all of those things were small and insignificant to the actual wedding — which was really terrific. Everything went by the numbers thanks to my mom’s cousin and my cousin who made sure everything was followed according to tradition.

After the ceremony, Julie said out loud, “I wish we could do this all over again because it was so much fun.” The wedding reception was a blast. Family and friends celebrating with us until around 11 pm. Absolutely lovely. Of course, all those emotional outbursts were just wedding jitters and all the other stuff that comes when a big event is happening.

30 years as a married couple is a milestone. We have been through a lot in this journey together. We met at San Francisco State University in 1987 when I was 22 and Julie was 21. So, at the time I’m writing this, we’ve been together for 36 years in total. In that time, we’ve graduated college, moved to another state for a couple of years, had a child, moved back to California, bought a home, raised our child, grieved over the loss of family members, lost jobs during The Great Recession, endured wildfires, a pandemic, and our own ups and downs. Throughout this 30-year marriage, I would say that love, friendship, and stability are the words that come to mind when it comes to our relationship.  

A few years ago, I told Julie that there’s a song by Tanya Donelly called “Lucky Love” that kind of reminds me of our relationship. It’s about a relationship that’s been going on for 20 years. It’s not really a lovey-dovey song, but one that talks about stability and love when all around you there’s evidence of other relationships ending. 

I spoke about this on my podcast when I did an episode on relationship songs and read through some of the lyrics — specifically, these:

Twenty-odd years in
Starting to suspect
This might be the endgame
High above St. Mark’s
Starting to expect
This is where we land
Again
And I write the same songs
Again
About you
About me

Chorus

You and me
We don’t live in a fantasy
Of the meaning of souls and eternity
But are we lucky or aren’t we lucky?
Don’t you feel lucky love?

Hearts break…hands shake
“Not again,” is all I think to say
That old magic won’t work in here
We’re too far gone
It’s far too clear
It’s a settled bet
We’re all set
No one’s gonna run

As I noted earlier, the lyrics aren’t lovey-dovey, but the slideshow I put together to show some highlights of our marriage and our relationship has a pretty sweet song that means a lot to Julie. It was featured in an episode of the TV series Thirtysomething when one of the main characters (Ellen) gets married. My friend Wendy also had that song sung at her wedding, too. It’s a cover by Ray Charles called “Come Rain or Come Shine” which was originally written for the Broadway musical, “St. Louis Woman” in 1946. The song has been covered a lot, but Ray Charles’ version is the one Julie likes best. 

So, I hope you enjoy the pictures and the song that, yes, celebrates Julie and me. Cheers!

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