“Internet”

So, I was reading the SF Chronicle over the long weekend and they reprinted some comments by Ted Stevens (R) Alaska, who had this to say about how the Internet works for him:

“I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o’clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why?”

Stevens almost rivals Bush’s now-famous quote:

“I hear there’s rumors on the Internets that we’re going to have a draft.” —second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004

Yesterday I was riffing with J about incorrect uses of the word “internet” and came up with this one:  “I bought a dozen internets yesterday, but could only eat 4.” 

Got any good ones?  Just plug the word “internet” into a sentence that makes no sense.  The stranger the better.   Comment away!

 –PK