This morning, Julie and I were awaken by something you know is bad news: a 2:00am phone call. Her mom suffered congestive heart failure in February, had quintuple bypass surgery a couple of weeks after that and then, after a brief period of recovery, she moved to California from Alaska with the intention of living in Stockton and basically retiring. When she came to California, one of her best friends from high school said she could come and stay with her before going to Stockton (she wasn’t all that well, but strong enough to live outside of the hospital). That lasted just a little over a week. Julie’s mom, stopped taking some of her meds, lost her appetite, and started to weaken very fast. One night she took a very bad fall at her friend’s house, and was taken away to the hospital. Too weak and injured to return to her friend’s home, she was admitted to a care facility located north of Sacramento. Sadly, even though she had a full crew of people at the facility to help with her recovery, she deteriorated even further. She wouldn’t get out of bed, she lost all interest in reading (by far, her favorite activity), wouldn’t eat, was in pain (a few more falls exacerbating a back injury she had been living with since the early ’90s), and didn’t want to do anything, really. In short, it seemed that she was shutting down.
Well, this morning at around 3:00am she passed away. She went into cardiac arrest at around 2am, the EMT’s were able to get a pulse at 2:15am and transported her to the hospital where she died.
Julie is just devastated.
Julie has posted her recollections of a dream she recently had, and you can read it HERE. It’s also cross posted on her mom’s blog (Maya’s Granny).
This morning, Julie was talking to her uncle about a memorial service, and he suggested a very low key, “family and a few friends only” get together where we tell funny stories about Julie’s mom. The idea being that we remember all the funny/joyous times and celebrate her life rather than her death.
So here’s my story:
When Julie and I were getting married, we wanted to have a Hindu ceremony — mostly for cultural reasons. Julie’s mom, not being a Hindu, and trying to be culturally sensitive (but also playful) wanted to know what the bride’s parents give the groom prior to a wedding in the Hindu tradition. She was reading about dowries, and it seems that some families give the groom cattle. Taken with the thought that she had to buy my a cow, she wondered how she was going to pull off giving this traditional gift to me. While shopping at a store, she found the perfect cow for a groom who lived in a city; one that needed almost no care (save perhaps for the occasional washing):
It’s a cow shaped cookie jar, and we’ve had it every since.
Rest peacefully, Joycelyn. Your playful spirit will be missed.
J
June 15, 2008 at 4:06 pmWhat a funny story. I will miss my mom’s sense of humor as well. 🙂
Doug
June 15, 2008 at 7:00 pmSo sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
doug
Ted
June 15, 2008 at 8:10 pmI will, too. She had some pretty funny outbursts.
Doug: Thanks so much. It’s been a very tough day.
Thinking About… » I had a dream
June 15, 2008 at 9:22 pm[…] Ted posted a sweet story on his blog today, a glimpse of what we have lost.) « Happiness […]
Cherry
June 15, 2008 at 9:58 pmThat’s a good story to capture her heart and humor. I only met her a few times and even then she had a witty comment or two.
You are all in our thoughts and hearts. Please let us know if there is anything we can do. A bottle of wine? A tumbler of scotch? a tasty snack? Or just a listening friend.
Eric Grubbs
June 16, 2008 at 3:21 amVery sorry to hear this, guys. I don’t know what else to say.
ML
June 16, 2008 at 5:17 amWhat a great post, Py. I’m so sorry to hear about Maya’s Granny. Thinking of you guys.
Autumn's Mom
June 16, 2008 at 8:55 amThat is a funny story. I wish I could have had the chance to meet her. I’m trying to think if I ever did…but I just don’t think so. Sigh. I’m here for you guys.
Lalunas
June 16, 2008 at 10:59 amI love that story. Cows are so wonderful, So was that thought from your Mom in-law. She really loves you guys very much and that love will stay with you throughout your lives. Maya’s Granny is one of a kind special person we all are so blessed to know and love.
ShortWoman» Blog Archive » Saying Goodbye
June 16, 2008 at 1:07 pm[…] passed away over the weekend. Here is what her daughter has to say on the matter, and this is from her son-in-law. She was a neat lady, and even though I never met her I will miss […]
Beenzzz
June 16, 2008 at 4:17 pmThat is a wonderful story! Sending you all much love at this time.
Mel-ee-say
June 17, 2008 at 9:05 amI never met your mother-in-law, but you always had lovely stories about her. And this blog is a true testament to that. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family Teddy.
donna
June 17, 2008 at 9:28 amSo sorry for your loss….
I’ll miss Maya’ Granny. She told great stories….
Kay Dennison
June 17, 2008 at 5:42 pmWhat a great story!
I was an avid reader of her blog and while she mostly dealt with serious issues, every so often she would have a flight of whimsy and leave me with a giggle. The cow cookie jar fits with that nicely. I will miss her voice in the Blogosphere greatly as will a legion of others.
My condolences to you and yours, And may Joycelyn have eternal peace.
Myra
June 17, 2008 at 9:44 pmHi Teddy,
My deepest sympathies to you, Julie, and Maya, and to the rest of the family. Our thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. Just like Me-lee-say, I have never met your mother-in-law, but hearing your stories about her, I know that her passing will be a big loss to your family. Take care.
Shelliza
June 18, 2008 at 9:08 amSo terribly sorry for your family’s loss. Hope you’re all hanging in there. This has been such a crappy period for your family. It’s got to get better soon. Please know that you’re all in my thoughts at this time, especially J.
starshine
June 19, 2008 at 2:22 pmTed,
I just love that story! What a fun way to remember her.
I’m so very sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you all.
I love that Maya will always know that of the many titles she could have given herself and her blog, the one she chose for herself was “Maya’s Granny”. And she has left a sweet legacy of love and wonderful stories for Maya to revisit and remember her by on her blog. It would be so cool to print them all out and bind them in a book for your family!
Hugs!